Intrusion : of the Psyche and Female dignity
Today is 16th December – the date when a protest of mass scale erupted in our national capital that still brings shivers at a mere thought of it. Maithili Anaya writes on the agony & predicament of a female who undergoes an unwarranted Intrusion on her dignity & psychology.
“Be strong and move on!” a very common and casual phrase used by well-wishers after a catastrophe has struck. It is not easy. There is no ‘it’. Yes, you can be back on your feet and refresh your life, but, there is never a single detail of those horrid memories which she is ever able to delete from her system.
The intrusion into a girl’s life & dignity and its consequences are her own to bear. Things are never as simple as they are projected to be. We come across so many stories of successful women who moved on after they were psychologically damaged, integrally hurt, and we infer them to be brave.
What other option is left for them? A girl who has been raped, her life does not go back to what it used to even be if the perpetrator is executed. The scar remains.
More so, when a girl is molested at the hands of someone known, the horrid tale doesn’t even leave a scar because such wounds never heal. Time is not always a healer. In fact, it only makes matters worse. She is asked to keep it to herself forever without once considering the extent of a hell her life might turn out into, without peace. Who should she talk to, should she go to a psychologist and do what, get counseled? Should she talk to a friend and get consoled and end up feeling like an idiot because she did not want those unwarranted sympathies?
It is not a piece of cake to see the family forgive and move on, quoting it to be a mistake, sometimes an unintentional mistake and sometimes as bad as an accident. “You are sensible and mature, what will anyone achieve through confrontations? Why should the whole family become uncomfortable because of one person’s stupidity? God is watching, have faith and move on.” That’s the term chosen, “stupidity”. That’s it. And that is it. What about the girl’s comfort, dignity and her peace of mind?
Is it only fair? She laughs and is “brave and strong, forgetting everything”, and becomes the “sensible” one. You asked her not to confront and she did not. But, what is next?
Who shall find a solution for her? She is brimming with life and wears a smile; does that mean she really is content? Oh no! She is not awaiting your sympathy. It is not going to help her be calm. She does not gather any happiness by crying to herself. Who wants to be miserable? Who wants to remember what went before? So she tries, in fact, tries very hard to move on and forget the past. But, is it not too much that you ask her to forgive? How can she ever forgive?
You even expect her to not be angered by the mention of his name? That is cruelty. She never got a choice. It is so deeply ingrained into the girl’s mind that she is strong that she starts believing it and becomes strong. Why then, do you take away her strength?
It is a hypocritical society that is lawless and talks of lawfulness. This is a universal truth, not being applicable to one culture alone. A society where the family is unable to punish in the fear of spoiling relationships and ties, how do you expect one to fight for justice? We, pretentious beings, forget how mind rumbling the silence of the past can be. The pain cannot be fathomed.
It is not his exile she demands; she wants an apology, the acceptance of realization. Is it too much to ask for? And if at all it is, then what other solution can you provide?